My first week here has been totally different to what I expected. I expected I’d be into my work, continuing to work the way I have, I’d already done the work in my head.
But this place, having space and time has had a more authentic effect on my time and work.
I’m unsure of how it happened but I went from being in my head to been present, to being in my body.
I became more body aware, aware of how tense I was and I found that after a couple of days my feelings were beginning to come to the surface, it was unsettling, I was very emotional, I realised how I kept busy to keep from feeling.
Now I was able to feel it was over whelming.
The plans I made plans fell through, trying to work from the mind fell through, the only choice I had, having no distractions was to stay with the feelings and listen to my body.
Quality of presence
I now have a quality of presence in what I do and what I choose to do, listening to my feelings. Doing what I want, enjoying what I’m doing without feeling obliged.
It’s changed me and my work, I no longer feel tense and less judgmental and harsh about myself and work.
I initially decided to do a word meditation drawing a day, I did find it useful seeing how I need to unwind but this became something I felt I had to do rather than want too, my heart wasn’t in it, so I stopped which was terrifying in away, it was like I was becoming detached from a way of doing things and myself.
Here is my studio space and a few drawings i’m working on at the moment.